I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
