you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
