he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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