we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
