don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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