I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
