i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
