How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
