nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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