We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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