so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
