bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
