mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
