You work out of a Hotel?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize