i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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