We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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