haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
