you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
