Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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