I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I CAN MOONWALK!
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
