The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
