Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
