i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
