He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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