I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
