My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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