i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
