on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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