just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I will pee on everything he values.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize