I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
