Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
