I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize