DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
