so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize