you didnt know i had herpes?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
