The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
