She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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