I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
the day after is always just damage control
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
