And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
