Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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