oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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