im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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