dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
