just tell him i said nine months
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
