I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
