This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
