i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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