Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
