She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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