Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
