The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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