I wish i was in the wii world.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
