just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
