man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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