Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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