TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
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