I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i barfeds in our rink
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
