in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
