Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
