She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
