Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
