there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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