K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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